Thimbleanna

True Crimes

9-1-1: Nine One One, What’s your emergency?

Me: We have a toilet paper molester.

Shredded TP

9-1-1: A What?

Me: You know. “Some”one has molested our toilet paper. Shredded it.  Left it for dead.

Shredded TP

9-1-1: Do you want me to send a squad car?

Me: No. It’s too late. We just need help finding the perpetrator. We think it has fur.

9-1-1: Well then. You can come down to the station house and look through our mug shots.

Suspect 1

Suspect 2

Suspect 3

We think it’s the monkey.

XOXO,
Anna

85 thoughts on “True Crimes”

  1. LOLOL!!!! my hubby and i both are rolling with laughter! too funny…this deserves the funniest post of the year award! ?

  2. BWAH HA HAHA HA HAHAHA!!! You are so funny, Thimbleanna. I’ll be it was a “group toilet paper molestation”, LOL! Those little furry buddies of yours are quite the “troublemakers” aren’t they?

    Those photos are hilarious and adorable at the same time. :)

  3. I’ll have to go with the white cat cos our white cat used to do that too, grab the loo roll with its teeth and front paws and kick the living daylights out of it with the back paws

  4. OMG Anna I’m just glad I didn’t have any Diet Coke in my mouth…I would have ruined another laptop. That is absolutely hysterical! You are too much!

  5. It’s definitely the monkey – I caught a quick glimpse of him at my house too – too bad he got away! I think you should put out an APB on him.

    S.W.A.K.

  6. How funny!! At our house it would have been the tulip-eating puppy. He also likes toilet paper and kleenex. Maybe I’ll actually get some sewing done while he’s off for 6 weeks at “school” with Hannah since I won’t be cleaning up after his messes.

  7. mmmm hmmmm.
    this has happened at crocker house many times. no photographic evidence though. next time.

    thanks for the giggles.

    the yard looks great BTW! AND i’ll be up your way in a few weeks picking up my son. perhaps we can arrange a sit and knit?

  8. That’s pretty funny! Ya gotta love cats! They are so adorable yet they destroy toilet paper and couches. Did you happen to see the orange shoe massacre?

  9. I think the monkey looks like a suspicious little guy! Your cats are like mine. He is great at decorating cards, paper and other misc things with his teeth, cute little hole punch that he is…

  10. lol! That brought back memories. I had an eighteen month old son who committed such crimes… over 22 years ago!

  11. C:\Users\Kirby\Pictures\2009-03-30 New Kitties

    I don’t know the one in the middle looks a lot like these 2, and they are into everything. To funny Anna.

  12. Ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Love those mugshots!

    Looks like Moog has a toilet-tissue-murdering accomplice Stateside! Just what is it about (usused!) toilet tissue that offends our hairy children so much?
    xxx

  13. I was on the phone with my mom when I opened your blog—and I just started laughing out loud!!!! Too funny.

    One time Victor dialed 911 and the police sent a squad car. I tried to blame the cat. Pretty embarrassing. XO

  14. Yes, yes, definitely the monkey. He’s got that gleam in his eye, and we all know that those sweet kitties would never even THINK of doing something like that.

    We have our own little toilet paper monkey at home – he’s 13 and just loves to experment with the stuff – you know, throw a wet wad of it at the ceiling and see how long it takes to come down on someone’s head1

  15. love. the. monkey.
    i think i have a collection started – i kept saying they were for the grandkids, but they’re here with me.
    did you do drugs in a previous life ms. anna?
    always, robin

  16. It wasn’t the top guy. I can vouch for his whereabouts on the night of the crime! He was here, weaving in and out between my ankles……………which is also a crime of sorts, since I could end up at the hosp[ital in traction. Or maybe that was his twin brother.

    Best laugh I’ve had in days!

  17. Ah, whats a kitty to do for a little play. At least it wasn’t your wool pincushion – I have lost about 3 of those so far. Cute post!

  18. No way!!! I’m going for 4633568. Those innocent eyes don’t fool me for a second ROFLOL!!!
    Hugs,
    Joy :o)

  19. I don’t know Anna, now are you SURE? Them some serious charges you know. I think 4633568 has a pretty guilty look on his face!

  20. Seriously, I check to see if you have a new post EVERYday. I usually smile about something you wrote, too. Today, I laughed my head off and then I had to show my husband (who is not quilty or sew-y at all) and he laughed his head off. THANK YOU!!!!!!

  21. Hahahahahah, that is hilarious!! Those mug shots look like some pretty suspicious characters!
    We adopted another little dog this week from a rescue group and she is FULL OF IT. Hopefully I don’t have to make any calls of my own to 911~!

  22. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, my! Hee hee! That has to be one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read.

    I think it’s the monkey, too. You know what kind of business those monkeys get up to… :)

  23. anna, I think it’s the monkey, kittied don’t use toilet paper. If you had a dog I would say it was the dog, but I think that monkey is the culprit. He has a guilty look on his face.

  24. Maybe the monkey has been set up to take the blame and it was the one trying too hard to look innocent, the white one. I say hair analysis is required here.

  25. Anna, you crack me up!!!! I’m still laughing. Love the “Dragnet-style” dialog…Joe Friday would have loved this case!

  26. Why the monkey–is it because cat’s don’t have opposable thumbs?!! It’s an inside job and the monkey is being framed. LOL!

  27. LOL!! I’m glad I wasn’t drinking my coffee just then. You KNOW the monkey did it – all the other ‘perps’ point to him (her?)!!

  28. LOL! How could you ever suspect those two innocent kitties – there is no way anyone that cute could be guilty. It has to be the monkey!

  29. Too funny Anna, my girl,
    Which cat is the culprit?
    Mars loves styrofoam meat trays and to flush the toilet and run… No toilet paper rolls though..
    Thanks for the great giggle..
    Well done!
    Hugs,
    Anna

  30. LOL! Insert side-splitting laughter and a roll on the floor here. That is hoilarious, made even more so by the fact that we too have a toilet roll molester and I so want to call the cops now!!! xxx

  31. Thanks for the laugh! Now teach that cat to change the roll!
    P.S. the black cat looks guilty.

  32. Oh my goodness, who amongst who have had pets haven’t experienced this toilet paper mutilation crime? It’s making me laugh so hard — and I do indeed suspect the monkey.

  33. Anna you are too funny! I think whoever forgot to put the paper on the holder is to blame, and we know it wasn’t the Mom of the House.

  34. Oh sister Anna……. I needed this! Those kitty mugshots are priceless! I MUST take some of my kitty. He hasn’t yet shredded the t.p., but he is a criminal, he has unrolled a roll of paper towels and smooshed them into his litter box. Too bad our kitties can’t have sleepovers…..at your house. hehe GO TEAM LEFLEUR!!! xoxoxo

  35. Anna, Anna! Poor little monkey! Don’t blame him for what you..hmmm, I mean others did! LOL!
    Anyway, I guess whoever did this, was having a wonderful time!

  36. What a fantastic post! I just love those mug shots – did you find the guilty party? I strongly suspect the one at the top!

  37. The monkey looks innocent to me! I can totally relate to this emergency, I recall many puppy days when the house looked like a snowstorm had hit it. Sug still likes to steal the toilet roll every so often, just to keep her hand in, but normally just moves it to a different room and abandons it. Which I can live with!

  38. Are you sure it’s not the squirrels? They are just tricky enough to frame your feline friends (they included the stuffed monkey because they think it’s a riot). I think that toilet paper mess looks a lot like the patio furniture. Yep. It’s the squirrels. They’re a whole lot of cute masking a life of crime and deception.

  39. O.
    M.
    G.
    I’m cracking up. Crack. Ing. Up!
    Were your ears burning today? SW3 and I were talking about you. Soooooooooooooooooooo wish you were there. You SHOULD have been there. I think you need to visit your Oregon sisters. I do. I really think you do.

  40. Hahahahahahahaha … oh Anna, I’m just sat here doing some blog lurking and this post is precisely what I miss about blogging and bloggers. Bonkers! I love it.

    xx

  41. I am not a laugh out loud person. Usually I smile when something is funny. It is a family thing. Anyway this post made me laugh out loud and chuckle! So clever. Those darn cats I mean monkey! haha

  42. OMG – just spat sandwich all over my keyboard, seriously LOL :)
    Our paper shredder has an accomplice and they both bark – they also make it look like snow all over our garden – nice effect except we live in Australia where there is no snow!

  43. You will never know how much I needed this (You) in my life today! Thank you so very much for a Hard Hitting Laugh Out Loud My Stomach Hurts So Much, I am printing it out and Hanging it Up, so I can enjoy this good medicine Daily. I just found your Blog yesterday!
    P.S. Also, I am getting a John Deere tractor so I can lose weight! God Bless Your Sense!

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